20 Signs of a Toxic Relationship

When all the signs are becoming clear for you, leaving is the only solution

Photo by Mahir Uysal on Unsplash

Defining toxic relationship

Dr. Lillian Glass, a California-based communication and psychology expert who says she coined the term in her 1995 book Toxic People, defines a toxic relationship as “any relationship [between people who] don’t support each other, where there’s conflict and one seeks to undermine the other, where there’s competition, where there’s disrespect and a lack of cohesiveness.”

As a human being, we should seek to be in a comfortable and healthy relationship with different subjects around us — either workplace, family, friendship and romantic relationship.

A healthy relationship is central to your well-being as when it becomes more toxic, it will affect your energy and your health tremendously.

As a result, you may feel draining and depleted instead of feeling happy, contented, and safe.

Some Signs You Are In a Toxic Relationship

1. You had to Google for their behaviour
2. You feel bad confronting their behaviours and they switch back on you
3. They make you feel afraid to set boundaries and have hard discussions
4. You are constantly making efforts to earn their love
5. You feel confused by their words and their actions
6. You are starting to ask if you are asking too much even if you are asking for the standard needs
7. You are walking on eggshells that you may have to draft your words or rethink your words
8. They expect you to do things for them but they would hesitate to do the same
9. You find it hard to talk about your feelings and your needs
10. You catch them lying from innocent white lies to something bigger
11. You are begging them to do the bare minimum in the relationship
12. You keep on saying sorry to keep the peace of the relationship
13. You feel depleted, tearful and anxious when thinking about them that it affects your health physically and/or mentally
14. You feel more sad than you are happy throughout the relationship
15. You keep on justifying their behaviour and questioning your worth
16. You have to ask if they love you because they tell you the opposite
17. Mixed signals and mismatch of words and actions
18. It is one-sided — you exist to meet their needs but they would always dismiss your feelings
19. When there is a fight, both of you are acting as enemies rather than seeing the problem as the enemy
20. You are often misunderstood and you often have to over-explain things

What To Do?

If you are in a toxic relationship, you know you should leave. You deserved to be in a healthy and loving relationship and this is not it. Save the pain in the future and cut it off now. You will thank yourself in the future.

Just remember, there is nothing about you that you are responsible for when you have a toxic partner. Hence, letting that toxic partner go is allowing yourself to be redirected to a healthier and loving partner that can last longer.

Better things are coming but you have to help yourself with letting go what is not good for you. You will heal, go through the self-care process, date yourself and you will become glowing