5 Takeaway Lessons from r/FDS
Finding FDS by accident is the greatest thing ever happened in my 2020
FDS is the most empowering mindset that I have ever encountered. It has become my worldview, it makes me see the world differently in terms of the treatment between men and women, and how the world is largely patriarchal that puts men to an advantage — socially, culturally and economically. I began to unlearn from everything I had been taught consciously or otherwise to see things in a different light.
But more importantly I learn these :
Men are not the center of everything.
Sometimes, we had fights over a boy. Two women are fighting over a man who is not even worthy of any of these two women to begin with.
We were taught to act, to dress, and to do anything to please men. Everything seems not just enough. Too opinionated? We might scare men away. Too bossy? We might intimidate men. Too tall when we wear heals? Yeah maybe we should not be wearing that shoe.
Remember those younger days when we tend to become a PickMe?
“Darling, I am not like other woman.I am low maintenance and you can always count on me.”
“Darling, I am not as sulky as other women. You should be able to appreciate that.”
Oh, remember those days when we were taught to be in indebted service of men? Be sacrificing our life, time, energy and things we love for men? Now no more.
Level up yourself, be the High Value Woman, then only the right High Value Man can add value to your life.
FDS taught me that self-care, self-love and self-development is first and foremost very important. Then only you add a man capable of treating you right, bringing value to your life. He should earn your love, and earning your love as a HVW should not be an easy journey
You don’t need a man, but if you want — you could.
FDS has never taught to not marry or date a man. However, FDS is wary about how marrying or dating an abusive man will deteriorate your life more than when you are single. Thus, preventive methods such as vetting is of utmost importance should you decide to embark your love life.
FDS has proven to me that in a world where women are already disadvantaged, dating and/or marrying an abusive partner will only hurt us more. The data has proven that there are more men who are rapists, sexual harassers, abusive, murderers and capable of hurting women. There’s probably so many fish in the sea, but remember, amongst of those fish there’s probably more that will bring harm than good for you. You only need one partner, so choose wisely.
As such, vetting is highly important. Remember, you are not only choosing a partner for yourself, but also a father to your future children.
Respect, decency, empathy and fair treatment makes a good dating experience.
I used to settle for bare minimum. I used to be in a relationship where I was asked to split my bills, not receiving any gifts, and I used to travel all the way to see my partner when he never did the same.
But now no more. When my date don’t know how to treat me right, when he does not respect my time and provide me with fair and decent treatment that I as a woman is entitled to receive, then he is out. A queen doesn’t stay if she is not treated right.
Spending time alone is better than being partnered to a Low Value Man
I recollected some of the memories of me being very heartbroken to a LVM who manipulated, gaslighted, and emotionally abused me before. The heartbreak puts me in setback for weeks. I have also had to enter therapy sessions to gain my self-esteem and self-confidence for weeks. I was shattered into pieces, emotionally and physically. I had regrets of the time and the money spent for allowing myself to stay in such a relationship.
Imagine when you are married to someone that you have finally realized that you have not been treated right? That the marriage is advantageous to him than to you? Imagine when your children had to bear a LVM father? Again, it sis never too late to let go. The sunk cost fallacy will remind you probably of the resources spent, but the longer you delay, the more repercussions there will be for you. FDS is all about mitigating the risk.
Truthfully, I am thankful that I found r/FDS by accident. I had a paradigm shift. I became a different person, mentally. I can date with confidence, vet seriously and I know when to let go.
